Fifty Years
by Mel966
Summary: Jasper reflects on his feelings about each of the Cullens. Post Breaking Dawn, some spoilers.


_A oneshot in Jasper's point of view, describing how he feels about each of the Cullens. Post-Breaking Dawn. Some spoilers. Thanks for reading, and please review! All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer._

I have been with the Cullens for over fifty years. It sounds like a long time, but to someone who lives for forever, fifty years is a blink of an eye. I've been with them long enough to grow to love all of them--even Rosalie, as difficult she is. Each of them are different and unique and I feel now like I'm a part of their family, although at first I didn't.

Emmett and I never really got along well. I mean, he's a great guy, but he's very... violent, and prone to very passionate emotions such as love, anger, lust, and protectiveness. Because of my gift, I find it difficult to be around him. Passionate emotions are stronger than calmer ones--and tend to make my head ache if there are too much of them. I have never been around Emmett when he is in a calm or peaceful mood. I suppose you could say we are opposites; I'm usually very calm. The only thing I really have in common with him is that we are both protective of the ones we love, although he is protective of the entire family, but I am generally only protective of Alice. Even though we have never seen eye to eye, I still consider Emmett my brother, and would want him beside me in any fight.

Rosalie and I... well, I suppose you could say we get along. We never really fight over stuff, but we never really do a lot of things together, either. Rose usually does what she wants to, and she usually wants others to do what she wants them to. That is fine with Emmett, but I don't really like behaving as she would like me to. The only ones she doesn't boss around or pressure are Carlisle and Esme. I think she feels neutral about me as I do her. Of course I love her--she's my sister. But I'd rather not spend an extended period of time with her. She'd want me to tell her she's pretty a million times. She knows she's gorgeous--no one has ever denied that, no matter how much they dislike her--but she needs to hear it from other people more often than usual. Emmett is fine with providing that service, but I find it a chore.

Carlisle is my father in more ways than one. He isn't my biological father, of course, but he is the only father I have. For the past fifty years, he has helped me to adapt to this lifestyle, and, no matter how many times I slipped up and drank from a human, he never made me feel like a failure. He simply told me that it was to be expected and that it woudl become easier over time. He was right; I find it easier to ignore human blood than I ever have before. He is also the person I go to for advice, however seldom that is. Whenever my anniversary sneaks up, I always ask him for advice on what to do for Alice, and how to surprise my physic love. If I was having problems with anything or anyone, he would be the person I would approach. Carlisle is always gentle and kind, and wishes the best for everyone. I am proud to call him my father.

Esme is my mother in as many ways as Carlisle is my father. When I attacked Bella at her eighteenth birthday, I was horribly disgusted with myself and ashamed of what I was. She comforted me, assuring me that Bella didn't hold a grudge, and then told me a story from when she was a young vampire and had attacked a human that was once her friend. Even though I felt slightly worse because she had only been a year old, where I was a hundred and fifty years old, I felt grateful that she had tried to cheer me up. Esme loves all of us, unconditionally, like a mother would. Having a mother makes me feel more human than I have ever felt before. I love her for that--and all that she puts up with, like having immortal teenagers living in her house.

Edward is my brother, and we get along better than Emmett and I do. We both tend to be calmer and more level-headed than Emmett. He understands me better than anyone else, with the exception of Alice, but then again, with his gift, he understands most people more than they would like. He is very overprotective of Bella, and, although it sometimes annoys me, I generally respect him for it. He'd die for her, and I think that it is overdramatic and sweet at the same time. Edward and I have to stick together as the two "freaks" in the family. Of course Alice and Bella are also "freaks," but its different. I think that our gifts make us tend to band together more than that of Emmett and I or Emmett and Edward. Even though Edward is melodramatic, I'll always admire and envy his strength and self-control with Bella.

I have to admit I am jealous of Bella. Very, very envious. Selfishly, I had hoped that, as the youngest vampire in the family, she would struggle. It would have made me feel better about my own progress if she had found the diet difficult. Instead, she had no issue with the diet, even to the point where she could hold her half-human daughter in her arms, and visit with her human father only a few _days_ after being turned. I had watched her with a sense of self-disgust. How could she adjust so easily, when I had been adjusting for fifty years and still struggled? Why was she so much stronger than me? Other than my pathetic envy, I respect her. She is a part of the family--a new part, but a vital part. During her pregnancy, I never once saw her give up, and I knew I would have in her place.

And last, but certainly not least, is my beloved, Alice. There is so much for me to say about her... she's beautiful, so hyper and happy and perfect, and so mine. I love her with every bit of my dead heart. Even though our relationship isn't as passionate as Emmett's and Rosalie's or as loving as Edward's and Bella's, I love her with a passion that is unmatched in my heart. Alice is what truly ties me to the Cullens. If she decided to leave them, I would follow her with no hesitation. Of course, I would miss everyone in my family, but I would miss Alice too much to survive with if I stayed. Even though I love the Cullens, I love Alice so much more. When I struggled around humans, she was my safe harbor. I always knew I was safe from attacking a human around her. If I was going to attack, she would know, and would gently remove me from the room. I trust her completely, love her with every fiber of my being, and I would follow her to the ends of the Earth with no exception.

_Just something I thought of while wondering what Jasper thinks of each of the Cullens. I know, I didn't put Nessie in there, but she's not really a Cullen. True, her parents are, but Jacob isn't, and she'd probably go with him rather than stay with her parents. Thanks for reading, and please review!_

_Mel._


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